Harry Potter and the Plot of Pure Evil
by Poetic-Serpentine
Summary: A parody of sixth year fics, Mary Sues, strange ships and much more.
1. Brooding at Privet Drive

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Except for the OCs. Them I own. Unfortunately.

Enjoy.

Harry Potter was no ordinary boy. He was in fact a wizard. A very powerful and needed one, as he had just recently discovered. But Harry Potter didn't feel particularly powerful at the moment. Sitting in his room at the Dursleys', his hated relatives, he felt terrible. His beloved godfather Sirius Black was dead and it was entirely his fault. Despite the actions of Bellatrix, the Malfoys, Voldemort, Kreacher, Dumbledore and Sirius himself, Harry never ceased to feel that it was him and him alone that had caused Sirius's death. He sniffed and wiped away a small tear as he looked out the window and noticed three owls flying towards him.

_Oh, look. News from the outer world. Finally. No one ever writes to me. Except for Ron. And Hermione. And Hagrid. And various members of the Order every two weeks or so to make sure the Dursleys haven't suffocated me with spoons or anything. But other than that, I never get letters. _

Harry sighed dejectedly and got up from his bed, where he had been lying face down. He kicked aside his birthday presents from a week ago as he stood, studying himself in the mirror as he walked toward the window.

Harry was a very slender boy, with messy jet black hair, emerald eyes, and a creamy complexion. Over the summer though, his slenderness had given way to a more muscular body. His skin had tanned somewhat and he had also fixed his vision with magic so he wouldn't have to wear glasses anymore. Though he had no idea how, Harry had transformed from a scrawny unsure teen into quite the handsome young man.

On his forehead, there was a lightening bold shaped scar, a remnant from his first defeat of the Darkest of all Dark wizards, Voldemort.

Harry shook his head tiredly. He would not think of Voldemort now, not after just brooding on memories of Sirius. There was only so much misery he could handle.

The owls reached his windowsill and eyed him there. One Harry recognized as Pigwidegeon, Ron's owl. He was carrying two letters, which Harry could see were from Ron and Hermione, respectively. He opened Ron's letter and read it, frowning slightly.

It was the same old, same old. How much he and Hermione missed him, how terrible it was that Harry was stuck at the Dursleys, how Fred and George were doing in the joke shop and so on. Hermione's letter was almost exactly the same, except hers was full of questions about OWLS and class choices for next year.

Harry sighed. OWLS and joke shops seemed ages away. He had more important things on his mind, like the fate of the wizarding world and his new attractive body.

The next owl was from Hogwarts. It carried his OWLS results. He scanned over them quickly.

Outstanding in Defence against the Dark Arts

Outstanding in Care of Magical Creatures

Exceeds Expectations in Charms

Exceeds Expectations in Transfiguration

Acceptable in Herbology

Acceptable in Potions

Poor in Astronomy

Poor in History of Magic

Poor in Divination

The letter from Professor McGonagall also said that despite his lower than Outstanding Potions grade, Professor Snape had accepted him into his class for next year. Harry had no doubt that this was entirely thanks to Dumbledore and McGonagall, who had requested that Snape make an exception for the great Harry Potter and that Snape had acquiesced, if rather grudgingly.

Overall Harry was quite happy with his grades and was very happy that he would be able to pursue his goal of becoming an Auror.

The last owl was from the Order. Harry recognized Lupin's neat handwriting on the envelope. He opened it, wondering if it contained any news.

_Dear Harry, _

_Dumbledore has finally agreed that you should be allowed to spend the rest of the summer with us at Grimmauld Place. Myself, Kingsley, Tonks and Moody will pick you up tomorrow so be ready. I know that this has been a difficult summer for you Harry, what with Voldemort back in full strength and you knowing that the fate of the world rests in your hands and all but try to think happy thoughts. When you arrive here, we have a little surprise for you. Maybe more than one, if Dumbledore permits. _

_Regards,_

_Remus Lupin_

Harry snorted and tossed the letter aside. A "little surprise"? He was _sooo_ excited. They had probably learnt that Voldemort had gathered more allies. It couldn't be anything positive. Nothing positive ever happened. Not to him. Anything and everything that could go wrong did.

'Why does everyone pick on _me_?' he wondered. 'Why do terrible things happen only to me? Why does no one care? Why does everyone pick on me? Why do they make fun of me? Just because I'm different and I shave down there-'

Harry's clock beeped, signalling that it was now 2:00. Full of self pity, Harry curled back up in his bed and went to sleep.

A/N: And that is the first chapter! As you can probably tell, this will feature Depressed! Harry until he meets...dun dun dun...THE NEW STUDENT! At which point he will be transformed into Smiles and Sunshine! Harry. Very cliché. But then, original plotlines are _not _what we read parodies for. ;)

Can anyone guess what Harry's _surprise _is? If so, tell me in a review. I'll give you candy...


	2. A wonderful surprise

A/N: And here is Chapter 2. Thanks to my reviewers. This chapter is dedicated to you.

Now on with the parodying...

Harry got up late the next morning. He hadn't been able to get much sleep as he'd been haunted by dreams of Sirius and Cedric, images of falling and of bodies with unseeing eyes.

_So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate? _

Harry felt like an old man, tired and weary of constant strife. He dressed slowly and began half-heartedly tossing clothes and belongings into his trunk. He carefully packed away his Invisibility Cloak and the Marauders Map at the bottom, frowning as he recalled what he had seen in Snape's Pensieve. He gingerly placed his Firebolt next to the trunk, sniffing as he did so. Hedwig was locked up in her cage and Harry took the calendar marking the days until the start of Hogwarts of the wall and into the trunk. Then he sat down on his bed. He didn't feel like having breakfast; he hadn't been eating much over the summer. There was nothing to do but wait.

An hour later, Uncle Vernon came up to his room.

"Well boy, we've received a letter from...those _friends _of yours. They're to come pick you up today."

"I know," Harry responded dully.

Vernon's face twisted into a sneer. "Think you know everything, _Potter_?" he practically spat. "Don't you? Don't you? Just like your parents..."

Harry was used to this. Under threat from the order about mistreating Harry, his uncle had taken to taunting him, trying to bait Harry into striking first. "No Uncle Vernon. I don't think that I know everything."

Vernon's eyes narrowed; he was obviously upset that Harry hadn't flown into a rage. The old Harry would have; the new one couldn't care less.

"Very well then, boy. They'll be here in approximately half an hour. Your aunt, Dudley and I are going out shopping. When we come back, the house will be filth free, perhaps forever. Hopefully, you'll get yourself killed at that freak school of yours. Hopefully..."

Harry nodded and flung himself down on the bed. As bitter as he felt toward the order, he couldn't wait to be out of Privet Drive and with them again.

Uncle Vernon shut the door behind him. Harry looked at his mirror and frowned. He had half an hour...

20 minutes later, Harry stood in front of the mirror again, but now in a pair of tight black jeans (bought for him, instead of an old one of Dudley's) and a black T-shirt that showed off his new body rather nicely. His normal bed-head hair now looked messily cute. An expensive pair of shoes adorned his feet.

Harry smiled confidently at his reflection. Even though he would only be among friends, he still needed to look good. And black was appropriate, as he was in mourning. The fact that it looked incredibly hot on him was only an unexpected plus.

In the living room, he heard several large pops. He ran downstairs to greet his rescuers.

Remus Lupin looked even worse than when Harry had seen him last year. There were dark circles etched under his eyes and his robes were so raggedy and worn, he might have not bothered with them. Stubble lined his jaw and he looked much older than he was. Despite all that, he smiled warmly at Harry. At least that much was the same.

Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mad-Eye Moody looked almost exactly the same as when Harry had said goodbye to them in June, if a little more exhausted and pained looking. They said hi to Harry and Moody asked his if he'd kept up constant vigilance and warned Harry to keep his wand out of the pockets on the back of his jeans.

Tonks was sporting bright blonde hair with a large purple streak. Her old unfailing good humour seemed subdued and she greeted Harry less brightly then she had the year before.

"It's so good to see you all again!" Harry exclaimed. "It's been terrible stuck up here. I felt terrible, not being able to help and not knowing what was going on..."

"I understand that there's a lot you want to know Harry," Lupin said gently. "But we need to get back to headquarters and once there, all your questions will be answered."

Harry profoundly doubted this. All of his questions were met with raised eyebrows, patronizing smiles and no answer, even the simplest ones, such as "Voldemort wants to kill me, right?"

"We're getting there by Portkey this year," Moody grunted. "Faster. Better. Easier."

Kingsley held out a pizza box and Harry's stomach rumbled loudly, reminding him that he hadn't eaten. Tonks noticed and smiled wanly.

"Missed breakfast, eh Harry? Mrs. Weasley will take care of that!"

_That _Harry didn't doubt.

"Just one finger now," Moody muttered. "Three, two, one-"

And suddenly the Dursleys' house disappeared and Harry found himself back at Number 12, Grimmauld Place.

Harry hit the cold marble floor with a thud as he vaguely heard a voice somewhere above his ear saying that they were right on time. He shook slightly as he stared at the faces of house elves stuck up on plaques along the hallway. Their leering faces frightened him.

"Now Harry," Tonks began earnestly, causing Harry's face to turn away from the house elf with an arrow up his nose, "Everyone is rather busy, too busy to greet you, so why don't you just pop on upstairs and visit with Ron and Hermione and the gang."

Harry nodded mutely and trudged up the staircase and turned into a dingy old room.

Sure enough Ron, Hermione and the rest of the "gang", were sitting on the bed. They all turned and smiled at him and his words of greeting died on his lips. Surely it couldn't be _his _friends...

But it was. Only...they looked a little different.

Hermione's bushy hair had been tamed and styled and now fell upon her shoulders in rich coppery coloured waves. Hints of red were streaked through it, looking completely natural. Her cocoa eyes were framed with kohl and her eyelashes accentuated them even more. Her cheeks were dotted with pink. She wore a red miniskirt and a red crop top. She also looked incredibly hot.

Ron, Fred and George also looked rather different. Like Harry, they had grown into their bodies and instead of being gangly or stocky they were now tall and muscled. Tanned to perfection, they all wore jeans and tight fitting T-shirts.

When Harry's eyes alighted on Ginny, he practically gasped. Ginny had dyed her fiery hair a raven black. She wore black lipstick, black eyeliner, black everything. Her hipster jeans and spaghetti strap shirt were, you guessed it, black. She held herself confidently, almost arrogantly. But despite that, she also looked amazing sexy.

"It's good to see you Harry," Hermione said warmly. "We missed you so much this summer. I'd hug you, but I don't want to mess up my outfit you know?"

Harry nodded slowly, not quite sure if he was really hearing this.

"You look amazing, mate," Ron grinned. "We'll be real popular with the ladies."

He winked at Hermione who giggled and blushed.

Ginny jumped off the bed, flicked her hair over her shoulder and strode up to Harry. She nodded coolly at him, flashed him the peace sign and then returned to the bed to apply more black nail polish.

Fred and George greeted Harry pleasantly then dashed out of the room, saying they had to go to work.

Harry was dumbfounded by everything going on around him so he just nodded again.

Ron and Hermione beamed at him. "We have something to show you," Hermione announced and then she and Ron dragged him downstairs, Ginny following behind, muttering under her breath.

Harry was so startled he made no protest but let himself be hauled downstairs to the kitchen where Mrs. Weasley, Lupin, Kingsley and the other member of the Order stood, smiling benevolently at him.

"Uhhh....ummm...what is going on?" Harry finally choked out.

"Oh Harry dearest," Mrs Weasley whispered, with tears in her eyes. "Look."

Harry looked. All he saw was a table, some chairs, a few onions being magically chopped up by a huge knife...

"No Harry," Tonks said gently. "Turn around. Look the _other _way."

Harry nodded comprehendingly. He turned and looked. And there, standing, in the flesh, was Sirius Black.

Harry almost fell over with shock. Once he'd regained his balance, he took a deep breath and began screaming, "IT'S A GHOST! OR VOLDEMORT! USING POLYGJUICE! FROM A DEAD BODY! HOW COULD YOU?!? HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR THE DEAD!"

Mrs. Weasley looked stricken. The others seemed to be trying to hide grins. "No Harry," Sirius smiled. "It's really me. The fall behind the veil was staged. We felt you needed to experience death to experience love. Or find your heart. It's the only thing that can defeat Voldemort you know."

"B-but I've al-al-already seen d-death," Harry stammered. "My parents and Cedric and-"

"That didn't count," Remus interjected quickly. "Only _Sirius's _death would have made you find love.

"Why?"

"Well...because. Because Dumbledore said so. But then we decided that he was too cool to keep hidden away, and that he's invaluable to the order even though he can't even leave the house so, we decided to bring him back."

Harry's head was spinning. Love...death...Voldemort...Sirius... what was...who was..._how..._

"I-I'm so happy you're back Sirius," Harry croaked out at last. "_So _happy..."

Choking, he shot forward into Sirius's arms and began to wail.

"There, there," Sirius said, patting him on the head. "Shhh...father figure's here now."

Harry sniffed. The others stood around looking at the two, with cheesy grins on their faces.

"Maybe it's time you went up to bed, Harry" Mr. Weasley finally said, breaking the silence. "You'll want to be up bright and early for Hogwarts tomorrow. It seems that the date of the start of Hogwarts has been moved up a little."

Normally, Hermione or Ron or Harry or Ginny would have questioned this but they just all smiled at Mr. Weasley and nodded, before mounting the stairs and hurrying on up to bed.

Harry fell asleep that night with a light heart. Sirius was alive!


	3. Hogwarts!

A/N: A short point: Hermione mostly plays the dual role of hot, sexy and not so brainy friend/girlfriend/lover/mistress/ex-wife no. 36 but _sometimes, _shealso takes the role of Only Intelligent Character in Fanfic. In this parody she does both.

Also, the POV will be switching. A lot. Randomly. Without warning. Consider yourself warned and prepared.

Anyhoo...Chapter 3 awaits! Exchange students, beautiful people, undying love, etc, etc. You know the drill. Oh ya...something about classes and homework and this weird thing called "school" too, I dunno. But whatever ;)

"So you're all sure you have everything," Mrs. Weasley questioned worriedly.

"Molly, they'll be _fine_, this is their sixth time doing it, remember?" Mr. Weasley chuckled.

"I know, I know, but I still worry. You have all the things I bought for you in Diagon Alley Harry?"

"_Yes, _Mrs. Weasley," Harry responded patiently. "We should really be going now; we are going to miss the train."

"Yes, yes, of course. Hurry up now."

Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione lugged their trunks and various assortments up into the train and waved from a window as the train pulled away from the station, smoke billowing gaily.

"C'mon," Ron said. "We should really find some seats."

They walked down the hall to the end of the train. There were no empty compartments.

"Damn," Ginny swore. "Such disrespect...didn't ma homegirls keep a place for me?"

"Guess not," Harry replied grimly.

"Look," said Hermione bracingly. "There are only three girls in that one, over there. Let's go."

And so they went. They placed their trunks, broomsticks and owls on the sides and turned to face the compartment's occupants.

Harry gasped and Ron choked. Hermione stopped twirling her hair for a moment and Ginny stopped swearing under her breath about her homegirls.

The three girls were the most beautiful human beings they had ever seen. Each was breathtakingly gorgeous in their way.

One girl had thick golden hair that cascaded past her shoulders. Her eyes were a clear aquamarine, the exact colour of lapis lazuli. Her lips were perfectly bow-shaped and glistened, as two rubies. Her skin was rather bronzed and complimented her hair marvellously. She was relatively tall, taller than Hermione and Ginny, but a little shorter than Ron and Harry. She moved with a polished air and refined gestures. The girl smiled at them, a radiant and pearly smile, and Harry thought his heart would explode.

The second girl's hair streamed over her shoulders and onto her back like an ocean of fire. It was very curly and seemed to have a personality as lively as its owner. Her eyes were the colour of the wind: ever-changing. Right now, they were a leafy green and were sparkling with mirth. From what they could see, her body was toned and very muscular. Her smile was constant and she put on no airs, giving off a very down to earth feeling. She moved fluidly though, in the style of the playful waves. She winked at Ron and he blushed, causing her to laugh out loud, a sound as bright as a thousand songbirds. The first girl laughed as well, a sound so musical that instruments cannot imitate it and words cannot describe it.

The third girl however, wasn't laughing. She was staring at Harry, her face solemn and serious. It did not deter her looks though. No, rather, it added a touch of the exquisite to the already wonderful. Her hair was as black as the blackest night and fell to her waist. She had flawless snowy skin and long elegant neck. She had a very slender frame. Her most striking feature though, was her eyes. They were a mixture of eternal violet spring and endless black winter, and when you looked into them, you would swear that you could see the past, present and future, the planets in their courses and the desires and secrets of the universe and beyond.

Harry tore his eyes off hers and swallowed hard. Someone was saying something somewhere. "Harry...Harry..." it was Hermione.

"Well, Harry," she was saying, chuckling a little at Harry's obvious discomfort, "Aren't you going to say _anything _to our compartment mates? Like hello, or how are you, or ANYTHING?"

Harry nodded and opened his mouth to say hi but what came out instead was "Ssabmudeguhamai."

The girls laughed. "What was that?" the redhead said teasingly. "I didn't quite catch it the first time."

"Oh," said Ron heartily, evidently relieved to have regained his ability to speak, "You must forgive my friend Harry. He seems to have lost his tongue. It must have been stolen. Who stole it?"

The three girls giggled.

"Oh, I have a thought", Ron said, unaware that he was rambling. "Maybe it was your fathers. Or one of them. Or all of them. Or just two."

Hermione and Ginny looked at each other and the other three looked at Ron strangely. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean to say is," Ron said, relieved that he had figured out what the hell he had been saying. "Your fathers must have been thieves. They stole Harry's tongue, and they must have stolen the stars from the sky, and put them in your eyes."

Finally comprehending, the girls cooed. "That's so _romantic_," the blonde girl sighed.

"You're just so _clever,_" agreed the redhead.

"I never even saw it coming!" added the black-haired girl.

Ron exhaled, glad that it had all worked out in the end.

"Oh, we are so rude!" said Hermione, palming her head. "We haven't even introduced ourselves. I'm Hermione Granger, but you can call me 'Mione, and this is Ginny-"

"I prefer Ginevra." Ginny broke in rudely. "Much more mature. The clever and romantic dude is my brother Ron Weasley," she pointed. "And the gaping fish over there is Superman himself, Harry Potter."

"Don't be silly Ginny," Hermione giggled. "Harry's not Superman. Superman is...well...not...Harry."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "A: It's Ginevra. B: Whatever, biatch. C: Shut up and get a life."

Hermione stopped talking but continued to titter.

"Harry Potter!" exclaimed the dark-haired girl excitedly. "You don't mean, THE Harry Potter. Oh my GOD!"

Harry nodded and said his first word in almost an hour. "Yeah."

"Amazing..." the redheaded girl trailed off then, staring at his scar. "I've dreamed of meeting you, I mean...oh...you don't understand."

She was right, Harry didn't understand anything EVER, but he patted her shoulder and remarked bravely, "Oh yeah. I understand."

She looked at him through her lashes, and he could see that her eyes were now as blue as the heavens. "You do?"

"Uhuh."

She smiled then and her eyes returned to an alluring green. The blonde girl jumped suddenly and shook her hair wildly. "Oh my god, I forgot to introduce us. How rude. Let me see... my name is Jessica Serenity Crystal Maligna. But please call me Callista. Everyone does."

"Why?" asked Hermione, curious.

"Why? Just...because. It's been my nickname ever since I was wee."

"Oh. Okay."

"And my name," announced the redhead, pushing a non-existent strand of hair off her face, "is Serena Raine Pot-", here she broke off and looked enquiringly at her friends. They smiled at her in a reassuring way. "Pottingpoo" she finished. "Serena Pottingpoo. But call me Willow."

"Willow," Ron whispered.

"And you?" Ginny asked, jabbing her thumb in the dark haired girl's direction.

"Oh!" she said, a little surprised. "My name is Artemisia Delia Riddle. But I go by Selena."

Ron sighed. "Callista, Willow and Selena. It's wonderful to meet you."

"Riddle, did you say?" Hermione asked sharply. "Riddle as in, Tom Marvolo Riddle, as in LORD VOLDEMORT?"

Ron squeaked and dived under the seats, Ginny gasped loudly and the three girls looked at each other fearfully. "N-no," Selena finally squeaked out. "N-not at all."

"Oh, ok then" Hermione smiled happily. "I believe you."

The tension in the air broke and they began to chat animatedly again. "Are you first years then?" Harry ventured.

Callista laughed and Harry drew in his breath at the sound. "No, no of course not. We're going into sixth year. We're exchange students. From an exchange program. Our school is called Magical Masters: A School for the Gifted and Intelligent. It's in America."

Ginny whistled and Ron's mouth dropped open. Hermione looked as if she'd died and gone to heaven. "Oh, in that case, you'll know everything about _everything, _I mean the US is like, the coolest country, you'll have the coolest clothes, because of course, the coolest stores are in the States and ya that's so coo-"

"Really amazing," Harry cut in and Hermione stopped speaking and giggling, long enough to nod sagely.

"Yes, we're a little advanced I know and probably ahead of everyone, but we're looking at this as a cultural experience," Selena quipped.

"And of course," Willow added, eyes sparkling, "We also wanted to educate all you British. Train you to speak, dress, walk, talk, smile, poop, etc in the American i.e. cool way."

"Plus," Callista put in. "We came to look at British boys. Their accents are just _so _adorable." She cast a flirtatious glance at Ron who fainted.

"Hmmm" Hermione wondered. "You're exchange students right? So then, which 6th years did _we _exchange for you?"

Ginny shrugged and Ron who had woken up from his faint, shook his head, puzzled. Harry brushed the question aside with a flick of his hand. "Who cares? They're not important to us."

By the time the train had pulled into Hogwarts, the seven knew every last detail about each other. Hermione could have penned a book on Callista's fashion tips and Ron could have written a biography on Willow. Selena and Ginny were comparing nails. Harry was simply staring at Callista.

They jumped off the train and into the pouring rain. They ploughed their way through the endless mass of students and managed to grab a large carriage. Every one of them was soaking wet, but Ron and Harry weren't complaining. Now they could see through the girls' shirts.

The Great Hall was packed to full capacity and the seven grabbed the last seats at the Gryffindor table. Whispers were already surging through the hall as everyone pointed them. They were all easily the best looking people there, the three girls especially.

Dumbledore stood up to make his customary greeting speech. "Welcome, welcome all of you. I am sure you all have questions about Voldemort and his return to power and how this will affect the school, but I have much more important news. We have started an exchange program!"

Murmurs and mutters could be heard in every corner and all eyes flickered to the Gryffindor table.

"Currently," Dumbledore continued. "Three of our sixth year students are in America. They will be there for an entire year, and probably longer, if we like the new students better and choose to make the swap permanent."

Not a single person doubted that they would like the new students better.

"And now," Dumbledore went on. "I would like to call up our three exchange students and request that they go stand with Professor McGonagall."

Callista, Selena and Willow stood gracefully and made their way to go stand next to McGonagall. The whisperers and pointers had completely given up on subtlety and were openly drooling over the girls, mouths hung open and eyes wide. A few people fainted.

McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on the stool and it opened its brim and began to sing:

_Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, the most perfect of schools_

_We teach everything under the sun, with magic and magical tools. _

_Of students, well, what do you want me to say? We choose the best; dropkick the rest, _

_They're sorted into houses; they have to pass my test. _

_Of all the houses, Gryffindor simply is the best_

_It's just so much, much better than all the rest. _

_They're brave, they're noble, and they're noble and brave and true_

_So what if they break rules? They only do it when they need too. _

_Of Ravenclaw, the brainy bunch goes in_

_Of Hufflepuff, it's the duffer's bin. _

_The houses now, in order from the top have been named_

_The bottom, the pit of voles, is now to be framed. _

_Slytherin, everyone knows, is for the baddies_

_The evil, the foul, the mean sugar daddies. _

_But someday into Slytherin, a good girl will come,_

_She'll melt cold hearts and unleash the sun. _

_These then, are the houses. Take your pick! Do come!_

_In every single one (except the last three), you'll have your fun. _

_I'm a hat! I'm unbiased! Neutral and fair and square, ok?_

_Just hurry it up though, I haven't got all day. _

When the hat finished its song, the hall burst into rapturous applause. McGonagall then addressed the new students. "I shall call the exchange students first and then the first years in alphabetical order. "Maligna, Jessica. Oh, wait," McGonagall frowned at the list. "Maligna, Callista."

Callista walked toward stool, sat down and put the hat on her head. "_Hmmm, very interesting. You're very beautiful and kind, but also brave and strong. Secrets...so many secrets...so many talents too. Hmm...special. Very special. Well, the only place for special people is _GRYFFINDOR!"

Every single Gryffindor jumped to their feet and began to cheer and hoot wildly. Many reached out to hug/ grope Callista as she walked back to her seat next to Hermione and Harry.

"Our next exchange student," McGonagall said. "Is Pot-", she broke off and looked enquiringly at Willow who mouthed something to her. Briskly she started over, "Is Pottingpoo, Serena. I mean, Willow. Pottingpoo, Willow."

Willow ran lightly to the stool, sat down and placed the hat on her head in one fluid movement. "_Another one?" _enquired the hat sounding surprised. "_Lucky Hogwarts. Well, my dear, you have beauty in your soul and laughter in your spirit. As for brains in your head, you could do no better, I suppose. A dark secret though...oh! Many dark secrets...hmm. Well then, how about _GRYFFINDOR!

To the chagrin of the other houses, Gryffindor had struck gold yet again. They cheered and whooped and flung their hats in the air as Willow smiled lightly and darted back to her seat next to Ginny.

"And our last new student," said McGonagall, sounding aggrieved. "Is Riddle, Artemisia. _I_ _mean,_"she corrected herself, sounding dangerously annoyed. "Riddle, Selena."

Selena moved as if in a dream up to the stool and placed the hat upon her head. "_Ahhh...another one? Three in one day? The prophecies shall unfold then and the magic shall course throughout the world, uniting and conquering and –"_

"Umm, sorry?" Selena whispered, stopping the hat's little speech. "But what about my house?"

"_Oh, yes, right, sorry. About that...umm you can go into..._SLYTHERIN!"

Everyone gasped. The Hufflepuffs, the Ravenclaws, but especially the Gryffindors and Slytherins, from shock, awe and in the case of the Slytherins, pure joy. Selena stood up uneasily and walked toward the Slytherin table. The silence was deafening.

Until suddenly, the Slytherin table began shouting and waving their hands madly, rejoicing at their good fortune. Many dropped to all fours and panted like pups as Selena walked by. Searching for a seat, she was beckoned over by a handsome blonde boy, who had a goofy smile on his face.

Harry, Hermione, Ginny and Ron were in shock but Callista and Ginny only looked grave. They were silent for the rest of the sorting and only when food arrived did they begin to chatter, sneaking random looks at the Slytherin table where many boys were too busy staring at Selena to eat.

When night fell, most of the students, new and old, went to their dormitories, found their beds and fell asleep in minutes. It had been a long day.

But three girls, two in a tower and one in a dungeon, lay awake in the darkness as they reflected on how much life at Hogwarts was about to change.

A/N: And there ya have it! Chappie 3! How you all enjoyed it because I definitely enjoyed writing it.

Coming up: Special talents, boyfriends and a tinge of jealously. Who knew three girls could cause such a stir?


	4. Balls

The next morning, Callista woke up before any of the other girls. She showered and dressed quickly and sat down in front of the mirror on her bureau, frowning slightly.

Her flaxen hair and cerulean eyes looked as beautiful as ever, but still. She needed a _change_...

Callista stood up abruptly and looked away from the mirror. There could be no change now. She would not change for a long time, indeed perhaps forever. The curse of secrets.

"But why?" she whispered to no one in particular. "Why must it be a secret? It's rare, I know, but-"

Callista broke off as she heard her dorm mates waking up behind her. Plastering her lovely smile back on to her face, she turned to greet them.

Selena's morning was terrible, even compared to Callista's trials. Nightmares had plagued her during the night, so she was the last to wake up, still fatigued from lack of sleep. The fatigue didn't show though and Selena looked as stunning as ever. She dragged herself through her morning rituals and was sitting on her bed, pulling on her shoes when she heard a cough from above her head.

She looked up and saw four angry faces glaring at her. The most prominent one was Pansy Parkinson. Even though she had only been in Hogwarts for a matter of hours, most of which had been spent asleep, Selena still knew everything about Pansy's reputation as a cheap whore.

"Well," Pansy began coldly, examining a blood red nail with scant interest. "You're new here. Let me explain how everything works."

Selena opened her mouth but Pansy was already speaking. "Number 1: Don't even think about getting your paws on any of our men. They're OURS. Go find yourself a suitable Huff N' Puff or Gryffindork."

The other girls sniggered. Selena bent her head slightly to hide the tears that were swimming into her lovely eyes.

"Number 2," Pansy continued. "Well...there is no number two. Just keep your distance, you little tart."

This was so wrong that Selena opened her mouth to retort but stopped when a second girl started. She was incredibly ugly, with buckteeth, pocked skin and sparse scraggly hair. All the girls were rather hideous come to think of it.

"Exactly," she was saying. "Stay far FAR away from MY Theodore."

"And my Vincent," chimed in another girl.

"And my Greg."

"And my Blaise."

Finally Selena got a chance to speak. "Isn't Blaise a girl?"

The girl who had spoken gave Selena a withering look but Selena was still confused. Was Blaise a girl or wasn't he/she/it?"

"And," Pansy cut in, tapping another long nail against her bureau. "Stay especially FAR away from Draco. I've had my eye on him since day one, year one and I am NOT going to let some American pie steal him away from me just when I am about to move in for the kill. Do not even look at my man otherwise...otherwise...you'll never look at a man... with your own two eyes... in your own head ever again!"

This intimidating threat so terrified Selena that she merely nodded in assent to Pansy, keeping her eyes on the floor. She kept her eyes on the floor as the girls trooped out and slammed the door behind them. She slid of her bed and sank to the floor in fear and sorrow. She couldn't promise not to look at guys! What WAS she going to do?

Breakfast in the Great Hall was a lively affair, full of laughter and chatter. Willow and Callista were telling witty jokes and Ron was laughing so hard he had fallen off the bench several times.

At the Slytherin table however, breakfast was not so lively. Selena had to put up with Pansy's flirting and Draco's smirks and was so upset she could barely eat. How dare he talk to his own girlfriend! She thought they had a connection last night, he had SMILED at her (well more smirked but technically it was the same thing), but apparently she was wrong. Resolved, Selena stared straight ahead of her and promised herself that she would not have anything to do with Draco Malfoy, that conniving evil slag.

Classes went by in a blur for the first few weeks of term. The Gryffindors found that they had almost every class with the Slytherins so every class was spent staring in wide-eyed rapture at the three exchange lovelies. Selena stayed away from Pansy and the other Slytherin girls, instead spending time with Willow, Callista and Harry and the gang. The gang, by the way, was receiving nearly as much attention as the three girls. Hermione had been asked out by no les than twelve guys and had said yes to all of them, gone out with each for a couple days and then dumped them because they "had funny-looking faces."

Ginny had dumped her goth wardrobe for something a tad...sexier. She had dyed her hair platinum blonde, changed from black makeup to red and wore short skirts and tank tops regularly. Willow, Selena and Callista had begged Dumbledore to relax the Hogwarts dress code so that they could "feel more at home" and he had happily agreed.

In terms of actual classes and work, the three girls were far ahead of everyone else in the year, even Hermione. They got perfect scores on every test, appraisals for each piece of homework and never had to pay attention in class to do it. Rather, they spent the time writing notes to each other and giggling.

The new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was a woman, with vibrant blood-red hair and leafy green eyes, which always looked sad. She was very tall and strong and very talented in her subject as she proved to the students in their first lesson. Everyone was in awe of her. Her name was Rose Evansgestes.

October was drawing to a close when Dumbledore stood up one day at supper and made a profound announcement.

"In light of the dark days of late, I have decided that we shall hold some balls this year. I'm sure we all enjoyed the ball two years ago, and how much many of us, especially the young ladies, would love to have a ball this year. I know I love balls. So, our first one shall be a Halloween ball and afterwards a Christmas one, and so on and so forth. Come to the Halloween ball dressed up in costumes, now."

He sat back down and whispers instantly flared up around the ball.

"Oh this is wonderful!" Willow cried. "I am going to go as a huntress."

"I'll go as a princess!" Callista declared.

Hermione and Ginny decided to go as an angel and a devil, respectively. Harry, remembering Ginny's comment on the train, wanted to go as Superman.

"What about you Ron?" they all asked.

Ron smiled. "I dunno. Maybe a gangsta."

At the Slytherin table, Draco was bragging to his friends about how he would go as a vampire and how he would have a specially tailored costume and real blood, etc, etc. Pansy turned to Selena with a cold sneer. "And what will _you _go as?"

Selena shrugged her slender shoulders. "I'm not sure." She frowned and knitted her brow in concentration. "Oh I know! I'll go as a witch."

Hogsmeade weekend came and all the students over third-year were gaily tripping through the village.

Selena had met up with the others and the seven were laughing and chatting merrily as they wandered around Hogsmeade.

"Look!" Harry said suddenly. "Why don't we try that store?"

Everyone looked. It did indeed look like a fine store, entitled Wicked Wardrobes for Wicked Witches and Wicked Wizards. Images of children in various costumes were plastered over the windows. It must have been a new addition to the village, as neither Harry nor Ron or Hermione or Ginny could recall ever seeing it before.

They all went in and who should they see but Draco Malfoy and his gang of nasty Slytherins. They were each holding a large bag.

"What ever happened to getting your costume custom-made?" Selena asked coolly.

Draco blushed. "Well...I...I'll see _you _at the ball."

And with that pronouncement, he and his cronies flounced out.

After congratulating Selena on her marvellous put-down, all eyes turned to the clerk, a happy-looking woman with sunny gold hair, dancing blue eyes and a sunny smile.

"Hello everyone!" she smiled enthusiastically. "My name is Sunny. I'll help you find your costumes. So, what do you all want to be?"

Everyone shouted out their requests and Sunny beamed. "Ok then. Stay right there and I'll go see what I can find."

They didn't have to wait very long. Sunny returned in 30 seconds bearing some of the most gorgeous outfits they had ever seen.

Hermione's angel costume was a pure white dress/robe/pantsuit with silver trim. Fluffy white wings clipped on to the back and halo was enchanted to float over her head. Her shoes were silver sandals.

Ginny's devil outfit was a rather short little red dress, strapless and very tight. Her horns were strapped on to her head and she also wore sandals, though hers were red. Her pitchfork could also be used as a whip.

Willow's huntress costume was deceptively simple-looking. She wore a matching shirt and skirt, both a lovely mud-brown. A beautiful crown of leaves and ivy was arranged into her fiery hair. Her sandals were also brown and she carried a long spear. A bow and a quiver of arrows hung down her back. Around her waist was an unadorned belt, carrying a sword.

Callista's princess costume was a gorgeous long flowing dress. It was bright ultramarine and matched her eyes perfectly. Around the shoulders, one would wear a white cape, ivory-coloured and trimmed with white fur. Her sandals were gold and a string of priceless jewels was laced through her hair. She also had a number of rings, necklaces and bracelets.

Ron's costume was also magnificent. He wore a blue jersey, with the number 15 and "Jordan" on the back. His pants were also blue, though darker, and were very baggy. He wore a headband and also had a number of rings and necklaces on. His were all silver, though. He had a bandage on his cheek and one of his teeth was gold. He shoes were white and looked pricy.

Harry's costume was unremarkable. It was a Superman outfit, with the tights, jersey, cape, etc. He couldn't fly though. He'd tried and failed.

Lastly, Selena's costume. Sunny had had the most trouble with this one. But in the end, she put together this masterpiece: Selena wore a slinky black dress with slits everywhere, sleeves, shoulders, sides, everywhere. She had a long cloak/cape/hood thing that was also black with purple spider-web designs. She wore black stilettos and had tubes of various black cosmetics under her arm (to wear for the actual ball). Under the other arm, she carried a sparkly purple wand.

Everyone whistled as she came out of the dressing room in this ensemble. "Perfect," Hermione announced, while everyone else nodded. "You look just like a witch."

A/N And that is Chapter 4! It's not very funny I know, but the ball will be, I promise. I know it took me forever to update, but...well...it's here now! Hope you all enjoy it.


	5. A ball and a beast

A/N: Magic of magicalness, here is the ball!

All the Hogwarts students who could go to the ball (the fourth years and up) were eagerly anticipating the event. Most of the girls and some of the boys chatted excitedly about their costumes and how they would dress their hair. They chatted everywhere, in class, at supper, everywhere. The teachers, rather than encouraging quiet, were supportive, eager to keep the fragile happiness alive.

Finally, it was Halloween. For breakfast, the Great Hall had been festooned in streamers and banners, each proclaiming in one way or another "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"

The Gryffindor Gang plus Selena (who had recently given up sitting with her housemates despite the whispers that she was a traitor) were talking happily about the ball.

"It's going to be amazing!" Hermione gushed. "Callista, you're doing my hair right?"

Callista nodded happily. "Of course, Mione. That's what BFF are for."

Hermione beamed. Then she palmed her forehead. "Stupid me! We forgot to show the guys! Girls? Let's show 'em."

All the girls pulled up their sleeves to show Harry and Ron matching friendship bracelets. Each bracelet was pink and blue, had 'BFFL: Luv u girls!' written on and had that specific girl's nickname on it. Hermione had 'Mione', Ginny had 'Ginny-belle', Callista had 'Calli', Willow had 'Willlo' and Selena had 'Selly'.

"They're really cool," Harry smiled.

"Dat's right. Hip, that's what I'm talking about," Ron nodded fervently. He was practicing for the ball. He attempted to make the gang sign for the Crypts. He resulted in giving the staff table the finger.

Hermione giggled and winked at Harry. "Really?"

Harry nodded. "Really." And then he paused, for a thought had crossed his mind. "Oh! I just realized: It's a ball right? So, we need dates right? So, we should really get dates right? I mean, it's today right?"

Ginny gasped. "DATES! I nearly forgot."

Willow examined her nails and smiled. "We didn't. We personally checked all boys in the school over the age of 16. We assigned each 'hotness' numbers. We looked at which boy would best match our outfits. We gave it intense thought and pondering and finally discovered this: Our group is made up of the hottest people in Hogwarts. So, we'd have to use each other as dates. Otherwise, there would be totally chaos, it would be terribly off."

"Exactly," Callista chimed in. "Like yang and yang."

Everyone nodded. This made perfect sense. "So," Ginny said, arching one perfectly plucked eyebrow quizzically. "Who's gonna go with who then?"

Selena pulled out a piece of paper with a superior air. "You'll see. We three girls are excellent matchmakers you know, and personally weighed each of the three factors (hair, eyes, muscled bod and style) to see which couples would work."

Callista giggled a little. She took the paper from Selena and paused to collect her thoughts. "And the Oscar goes to…" she began in a deep voice.

Everyone laughed very hard, Harry and Ron the hardest. Callista was so witty!

"But seriously. The couples are:

Harry and Callista," and here she blushed rosily and smiled shyly at Harry. "That's me. I hope you don't mind."

Harry blushed too, only much harder. "I-I-I no-no I think we'll m-manage."

Callista beamed at him "Good. To carry on-

Willow and Ron," here Willow grinned cheekily and planted a kiss on Ron's cheek. Ron yelped in astonishment and flew off his bench and landed with a loud squelching noise. Callista continued:

"Ginny and Hermione and lastly-"

"WHAT? WHY ME AND GINNY? I LIKE BOYS! A LOT!"

Callista looked up from her list, annoyed at the interruption. "I did say that people in our group of friends could only go out with each other, since everyone else is simply not hot or cool enough. We're out of guys, so you have to go with Ginny."

"But really," Callista carried on, blind and deaf to Ginny's stuttered protests and Hermione's balled fists. "If it is Ginny's ahem…figure you are worried about, I know an excellent charm, perfect for enhancing and enlarging…"

Hermione looked considerably happier. "Oh well in that case, no problem. Thanks Callista."

Callista opened her mouth but Willow beat her. "Actually, now that I'm actually looking at the two of them, they're not so hot together as we had previously believed."

"I noticed that too," Selena added.

Everyone thought very carefully when Harry got a brainwave. "I KNOW! Fred and George are coming to the ball. Dumbledore invited them specially. Why doesn't Fred go with Hermione and George with Selena?"

Heads nodded. "Brilliant idea Harry," Hermione exclaimed. "They're both gorgeous hunks. But what about Ginny?"

"She could go with Blaise Zabini," Selena mused. "He's breathtaking."

Ron rolled his eyes. "He's a Slytherin, ya dig? He'll have a Slytherin hoe, ya dig?"

Selena shook her head so hard; her lovely hair fell out of its elegant bun and cascaded down over her shoulders. Audible gasps were heard all over the hall.

"He broke up with his girlfriend. She was so depressed, I think she snorted something and died."

"Oh," said Harry, looking relieved. "Well, in that case, it's all good. There's a clear path to him for you Gin."

Ginny exhaled slowly, obviously relieved that such a suitable candidate had been found. "All right. I'll ask him."

At lunchtime, Ginny asked Blaise Zabini to the ball. Blaise was so astonished that such a gorgeous beauty was asking him anywhere, his mouth dropped open and remained that way for twelve minutes and six seconds. It was only when Ginny asked him a second time, tapping her foot impatiently, that he closed him mouth and nodded his head vigorously.

"Good," Ginny smiled. She looked at her watch and pushed an imaginary strand of hair back into place. "Must go. Pick me up tonight right at the entrance of the Great Hall, at EXACTLY seven-thirty. Got that?"

Without waiting for him to agree, she nodded her head and briskly set off for class. Blaise stood stock-still. He blabbered on about how grateful he was for a few seconds, then pulled himself together and strutted off to tell his mates.

Not a single student was really paying attention during the afternoon classes. Instead, everyone was looking out the window or staring into space, dreaming of beautiful dates and beautiful gowns.

FINALLY, classes were over for the day and the students shot back to their dorms to get ready.

"How much time do we have?" Willow asked frantically, checking her watch. "Four hours? PERFECT."

Selena had brought her things over from the Slytherin dungeons to change with the other girls in the 6th year dorms, so they all dropped their stuff on Hermione's bed.

A routine had been set out: Everyone would help everyone to get ready. Hermione would be beautified first, then Ginny, then Willow, then Selena and lastly Callista.

Hermione took the seat of honour in front of the mirror as the other girls bustled around her. Ginny dumping assorted products on the floor and then stood back and let the other three take over, adding only the occasional compliment.

Callista fussed over Hermione's skin, adding blush and foundation until Hermione was an angelic white with just a hint of rose. Willow did her hair, adding blonde highlights, straightening it and finally arranging it so it fell over her bare shoulders. And Selena fixed her gown, added gold and silver powder everywhere on her body and adjusted her halo and wings. Hermione was ready.

"You look gorgeous!" Ginny crowed. Hermione blushed while the others nodded their approval. "Your turn now Gin," Selena grinned.

Ginny sat down in 'the chair' and prepared to be dolled up. Selena did hair this time, teasing and twisting Ginny's hair into a complication of braids and loops. Willow and Callista focused on make-up, giving Ginny blood-red lips, pale skin and dark eyes. Ginny laced up her sandals and looked into the mirror in shock.

"Wow."

Willow's costume was actually simple rather than deceptively so. Her wild and unruly hair was left to hang down to her back and her crown of ivy slid in at the top. She slipped on her outfit, added a dash of kohl and nude lipstick and was ready.

Selena's witch outfit caused a few problems: When trying to put it on, it got stuck on her head and shoulders and in her struggles, ripped down the back.

Selena was mortified and would have never stopped sobbing had not ingenious Willow made a place. She tore out a whole square in the back of the dress, so instead of looking torn and worn, the dress once again looked sexy and alluring.

Selena was so grateful, she started crying once again, ruined her mascara and had to start her make-up all over again.

When she finally finished, they all turned to Callista expectantly. She was the last to go and there was only half an hour until the start of the ball.

Callista was sitting on her bed, wearing her dress, cape and jewellery. She looked lovely, even though she hadn't been beautified yet, but she was crying.

Willow and Selena exchanged looks but Hermione and Ginny hurried to her side. "Dearest Calli," Hermione murmured, brushing a strand of hair off Callista's face. "What's wrong? You can tell us sweetie, what is it?"

Callista bent her head to hide her tears and said in a wavering voice, "Oh Hermione. I have a terrible secret and so badly want to tell you all, and use it, but…b-but I can't!"

And with that, she buried her face in her pillow and sobbed even louder.

"Callista darling," Selena said, sitting next to her best friend and stroking her hair soothingly. "Tell them. Tell them and use your power. The time for secrets and fears is over. Tell them. They'll understand."

"Understand what exactly?" Ginny broke in questioningly.

Callista looked at her, her crystal blue eyes still swimming with tears. "Oh Ginny and Hermione, I should have told you ages ago. You see, I-I'm a Metamorphagus."

Silence filled the room. Outside, the crickets chirped.

Hermione was the first to speak. "Oh, Callista…Oh, honey you could have told us! We would have understood!"

Ginny nodded energetically. "Yes, yes, we would have. That's what soul sistas are for!"

Callista looked at all of them and smiled through her tears. "You guys are right, I should have told you guys and trusted you. I'm really sorry, can you ever forgive me?"

Ginny and Hermione grinned and nodded, then hugged Callista warmly.

Callista hugged them back, then jumped to her feet and grinned. "All right ladies, beautify me. Let's get this party started!"

The boys stood at the entrance to the Great Hall waiting for their dates. Harry, Ron, George, Fred and Blaise were all wearing their costumes and talking and laughing nervously. Blaise had come dressed as an incubus and looked devilishly attractive.

FINALLY, the girls came down, giggling and fluffing their hair. Each boy felt his jaw hit the ground. The girls were breathtaking.

Harry couldn't take his eyes off Callista. She was grinning widely. Rich-red gold hair fell down her back and shoulders and grey eyes gleamed.

"Callista," Ron choked. "Your hair…your eyes…"

Callista explained to them all about how she was a Metamorphagus. They all accepted it well enough.   
A clink of glasses was heard in the hall and Fred beckoned to them all. "Let's go guys, ball's starting."

And linking arms with their lovely dates, they all went off inside.

The Great Hall looked amazing. Lighted pumpkins stood everywhere and streamers and banners festooned the place. Celestina Warbeck, the most famous singer in the entire wizarding world, was standing on stage, crooning into a magicked mic.

Harry didn't think he had ever grinned so widely in his entire life. He had a beautiful girl on his arm, his best friends at his side and the entire world at his feet. Life didn't GET any better than this.

Over the summer, Harry had not only developed a body of steel, he had also learned to dance. He made good use of these abilities now, as he twirled a laughing Callista around. The dance floor cleared for the two. Harry could see that Callista was an amazing dancer. Celestina Warbeck was singing an incredibly fast song and yet Callista never stumbled or tripped. She was very skilful, an excellent match for Harry.

Unfortunately, it was directly at that moment when an attack was made.

Professor Evangestes ran into the Great Hall, panting and gasping for breath. She collapsed on the floor, directly in front of the stage. The music and the dancing stopped abruptly as everyone stared at her.

"I…I…was just…visiting…Severus…dungeons…MALACLAW!"

The last word was screamed right before she collapsed in a dead faint.

Heads turned to Professor Dumbledore, who looked very grave.

"Prefects, lead your respective houses back up to their dormitories. Teachers…follow me to the dungeons. Hopefully Severus is still alive. Replacements are so hard to find."

The Hall sprang into actions. The frazzled prefects untangled themselves from their dates and began shouting to the members of their houses to follow them. Harry saw Ron and Hermione frantically beckoning to the Gryffindors when he was pulled aside by Willow and Callista.

"Harry," Willow whispered urgently. "We should go to the dungeons. You're a hero. You can defeat the Malaclaw! And…I'll help!"

"WE'LL help," Callista added. She grasped Harry's arm. "Together, we can defeat this great and terrible evil!"

Harry looked deep into Callista's eyes. He saw fear but deeper still, he saw courage and resolve. His brave Callista…

"I can't let you," he choked out. "The risk…it's too great a risk and I can't lose you…"

Callista smiled at him tenderly. "You won't lose me," she whispered and then pulled him into a kiss.

It was the most amazing kiss Harry had ever experienced, despite the fact that he'd only ever kissed Cho. Actually, he'd also kissed Buckbeak by accident last year…but that was irrelevant.

Heat surged through him as they kissed and when they pulled apart, Harry felt ready to defeat a thousand Acromantulas and a spork-wielding Voldemort as well.

He looked at Willow and Callista and then grinned suddenly.

"Let's go kick some Malaclaw ass."

Harry, Callista and Willow shot to the dungeon at top speed, managing to beat the teachers. When they arrived, they saw Selena, who had apparently snuck down from her Common Room to help sustain the Malaclaw. She was overjoyed to see her friends.

"The Malaclaw is in the Potions classroom." Selena whispered to them. "I heard Snape brought two in to study their blood. I can only hear one in there now though."

Putting their ears to the door, the others found that they could indeed hear the creature. "All right," Harry whispered, alive with anticipation. "I have a cunning plan. On the count of three, we'll all burst in and stun the beast."

The three girls nodded their approval. "That is indeed a cunning plan," Willow murmured.

"Ready?" Harry muttered. "One…Two…THREE!"

Wands raised and sleeves rolled up, the four burst into the room, screaming war cries. However, they could not see the creature anywhere.

"Search everywhere," Callista ordered.

The four turned over books, cauldrons, and shelves but could not see the Malaclaw anywhere. Upon venturing into Snape's private rooms, Selena saw that he was lying in his bathroom. He had fainted away. He was also green.

Selena's quick mind pieced the facts together. "Snape probably accidentally ate the other Malaclaw, mistaking it for a lobster," she told the others when she returned to the main Potions room. "He turned green and when he saw himself in the mirror, fainted."

The others stared at her admiringly. "You're so clever honey," Willow smiled.

Selena smiled back.

Callista would have smiled too but at that moment the Malaclaw jumped on her.

The Malaclaw was twelve inches long and was an unsightly grey colour, with deep-green spots. It tangled its claws in her hair and tried to bite down on her scalp. It had apparently been hiding inside the one cauldron the four had forgotten to look inside.

Callista shrieked and screamed as the others panicked. "J-Just breathe deeply Calli!" Selena called frantically. "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…"

Callista's cried intensified when one of the claws messed up the string of jewels in her hair.

The sight of his one true love in pain put Harry himself into the deepest pain imaginable. "Callista…" he whispered.

"HARRY!" she yelled, struggling to knock the creature off her head. "SAVE ME HARRY, SAVE ME! I NEED YOU! SAVE MEEEEEEEE…."

Her voice died away as the Malaclaw bit down ferociously onto her neck. It tore its teeth into the perfect ivory flesh and Harry felt himself go numb. Finally, the terrible creature pulled its head back and Callista collapsed onto the floor. Her eyes were shut and Harry, fixating his eyes on her chest, couldn't tell if she was breathing or not.

The Malaclaw hissed and Harry tore his eyes off her chest. He glared at the creature as his rage built up inside him.

Every chance at happiness has been ripped from me. I cannot let this one get away too. I'll avenge you Callista. I'll avenge you.

The Malaclaw began to advance. Harry's mind was numb; he couldn't think to raise his wand. Time seemed to stand still as he raised his hand. Harry focused, channelling all his anger, sadness, power, despair, horniness and grief into that hand.

And suddenly, from that hand, a jet of bright blue light was emitted. It shot from Harry to the Malaclaw which shrieked and screeched with pain. Harry focused harder and harder and the energy only intensified.

The entire classroom was lit up by this light. Selena and Willow, who had run from their corner to Callista's side, stared at Harry in awe. His entire face was set, his eyes never moving from Callista's still features.

Finally, enough energy was released and the Malaclaw exploded in a flash of blue and yellow light. Harry reeled back on his feet and retracted his hand. He fell back against a desk, gasping for breath. A few blue sparks fell to the floor and landed on Callista's upper body. Willow and Selena were still staring at Harry, open-mouthed in amazement.

Harry finally forced himself forward and fell at Callista's side. He stroked her face tenderly and whispered her name before falling backward and escaping into blackness.

A/N: That's the fifth chapter, I'm very sorry for the delay, but it works! It shows me parodied authors who don't update frequently! It was all planned!

I've got nothing.

Anyways, just a few notes:

The Malaclaw, or Mackled Malaclaw, is in fact canon. I pulled it from _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _and all the facts are true, though highly exaggerated.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


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